Never Mind
by mimocat
Summary: Like a Monday Night Drama. Lacking of better summary, apologies. Please R&R! Hijitae random rambling
1. Chapter 1

Rewritten. There are some spoilers for Gintama episode 18 and 8.

Disclaimer: Gintama doesn't belong to me (obviously, should I even have to type this?!)

* * *

"Is something wrong Hijikata-san?" Shimura Tae stood at her door before the deputy leader of the Shinsengumi. Hijikata sighed heavily and let out a gentle poof of smoke from his cigarette.

"Well . . ." Hijikata trailed off and his mind drifted off to that incident several weeks ago.

—

"Yes . . . You should impale someone all the way through."

"Better yet, chop him to pieces."

"Tear him apart."

"Dismember him and stomp him into the ground." at that moment Hijikata had finally found someone who shared similar ideals as him when it came to killing someone. Hijikata glanced over at Shimura Tae who was smiling with blood lust. Hijikata felt his heart skip. He looked away and brushed it off as just a mayonnaise over dose. Later on that night when the panties thief finally appeared and Gintoki had failed to attack, Otae attacked.

"Don't underestimate . . . us women!" Another heart beat.

Hijikata hadn't realized how deeply he loved Otae, even though it grew involuntarily every time he saw her again. Every time he heard her scream violently and knock Gorilla out again, he felt his heart laughing while on the outside he ran to his commanders side. Every time he saw her smile while threatening to kill Gorilla. Every time he saw her pony tail bounce as she walked away. He came up with pathetic excuses to cover up for the feeling growing in his chest.

'It's probably just the result of too many cigarettes. I did have over a dozen bottles of mayonnaise last night. Actually, it must be the after affects from Sougo's attacks.' The list went on. Each time Hijikata would come up with a new excuse so he could deny the warm feeling pulling at his heart. He told nothing to Sougo about his situation even though Sougo began to notice after the fifth attack that Hijikata did not react to.

"Hijikata?"

"Eh, what do you want?" Hijikata had pulled out another cigarette and lit it with the fire Sougo had caused from the rapid gun shots he had just shot at Hijikata.

"Aren't you going to yell at me?"

"Tch, what's the point?" Sougo had stared at him in shock, unable to attack Hijikata for the rest of the day . . . well hour actually.

Finally it hit him after several beef bowls with 500 mL of mayonnaise and hours of screaming at the insane Sougo, that he indeed had feelings for her. However, there was someone else who also adored Otae.

"I won't give up after being turned down once or twice!" Hijikata rolled his eyes at the memory of his captain's continuous proclamations of love to Otae. All the same it wouldn't be fair of Hijikata to take away the women Gorilla loves so much. It was also not a guarantee that Otae would return Hijikata's feelings so Hijikata let out another poof from his cigarette and smiled at Otae.

"Never mind." Then he turned and headed back to the Shinsengumi headquarters.

"I wonder what that was about." a familiar and unwelcome voice met Otae's ears. She swiveled around to see Kondo Isao lying under the table set up in the middle of the room. Otae smiled and pulled her sleeve up.

"Get out right now."

"But Otae-san-."

"NOW!" with a resounding punch and kick Kondo was sent flying across the sky, past the relieved Hijikata.

* * *

Yea that's right, I'm extending this story cause I just found a ton of HijiXOtae pictures and they've inspired me! They really do make a good couple. I wish more people would realize this V.V

. . . I mean think about it . . . they're child would be the most violent kid in all of Edo!


	2. Chapter 2

Thoughts are in italics.

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"What do you mean the mayonnaise is by the haagen-dazs?" vice commander of the Shinsengumi; Hijikata Toshiro had just been informed by a non-committed teenage convenience store cashier, that the mayonnaise is by the haagen-dazs.

What the hell.

"It's exactly as I said it. The mayonnaise is in the ice cream aisle!"

"Why the hell would you have the mayonnaise in the ice cream aisle?! You should just go commit seppuku!"

"I'm not the one who set this place up! Now are you going to make a purchase or not?"

"Whatever,"

"And sir this is a no-smoking area," Hijikata growled in anger but still he took the burning cigarette out of his mouth and put it out on the ground. Hands in his pockets, a demonic glare on his face, a rumbling stomach, and to top it off no cigarette anywhere near his mouth. Boy someone was going to get hurt.

Slowly he made his way to the ice cream aisle which was conviently placed on the other side of the store. The condiment aisle, where the mayonnaise should've been, was the first aisle from the convenience store door. Anger, rage, fury. What an interesting combination. He finally arrived at the ice cream aisle where pots of tulips were hanging from the ceiling. This store made no sense what so ever. The sooner he bought his mayonnaise and left, the better. He scanned the line of treats until he saw, quite out of place, mayonnaise being chilled in ice. He snatched it up and glared at the ice chips in confusion. _What the hell?! No . . . no, just ignore it._ Hijikata shook his head and made his way back to the counter.

"I'm sorry miss but we don't have 'Bargain Dash'. All we have is haagen-dazs. I'm sorry,"

"If apologies were enough, seppuku would not exist." a familar voice said sweetly. Hijikata glanced up to see Shimura Tae, giving off a deadly aura. Cautiously, Hijikata walked up to the counter. Otae glanced sideways at Hijikata and then smiled calmly as if the word seppuku did not just escape her lips. "Hello Hijikata-san,"

"Ah hello,"

"Mayonnaise hmm?"

"Yes,"

"Beside the haagen-dazs?"

"Yes," suddenly she grabbed him by his collar and flipped him over with incredible force. Hijikata blinked in shock and looked up at Otae,

"It's Bargain Dash," her voice was still sweet and calm. The cashier was scared out of his wits. Hijikata was over joyed.

Really Hijikata had no idea why he felt his heart beating harder. Maybe it was because of the sudden assault he had just recieved but for some reason when he stared at her as she walked out of the store, completely calm, he really couldn't help but feel his heart beat increase.


	3. Chapter 3

Spoiler warning! Bits of episode 76 and 81. Many people say that the Yagyu story arc (ep.76-81) supports other pairings like Kyuubei and Otae and more so in the end Kondo and Otae. For me it's Hijikata and Otae all the way.

Disclaimer: Gintama completely and entirely does not belong to me.

* * *

"Hello? Kondo-san? It was no use, after all. You have no choice but to resign yourself..."

Screams erupted from the background as glasses flew past the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi; Hijikata Toshiro, who watched the scene with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth and his cellphone to his ear.

"You say her refusal shows she likes you? No, I'd say 'No means no.'"

Plates whisked by followed by wine bottles spewing wine across the tables as they spun past. Ash trays were flung and screams continued while Hijikata calmly let out a puff of smoke.

"And another thing— don't send me on errands like this again." Hijikata flipped his cellphone shut and looked up at the cause of all the screaming and mayhem. It was none other than Shimura Tae, a calm smile on her face as she threw bodies half way across the snack house. She rose slowly from her fighter stance and placed her hand to her cheek in mock surprise,

"Ah what should I do? You've created such a mess customer,"

Hijikata stared at her from the booth. His heart skipped. _Really. Don't send me on these types of errands again. _

—

Later that night, after Hijikata had returned from his failed mission at recruiting Otae, he sat on the porch looking out on to the Shinsengumi grounds. Hijikata's familiar sword lay in his lap and there was no doubt about it, he was annoyed. A brand new sword and already cracked. How troublesome. And to have it inflicted by a shrimp no less. Really troublesome. And to have to come back to the headquarters to face Sougo munching on snack cakes while watching TV, really really troublesome.

"Hijikata-san, is this the second fight you've lost?"

"I didn't lose. It's just that my sword cracked." Hijikata ran his hand over the cracked sword, a look on his face that was a mixture of remorse, annoyance, and trying to cover it all an uncaring glare that was constantly present.

"The boss of the Odd Jobs broke it in two— you lost that one."

"I didn't lose. As long as you don't give up in your heart, it doesn't count as a loss." his hand stopped and he saw against the cracked sword's reflection the sweet smile of a certain person. He quickly covered the metal with his hand. _That . . . _He lifted his hand again and instead this time saw the gorilla-ish grin of his commander. Hijikata shuddered and quickly placed the sword back in it's sheath.

Behind him Sougo was rambling on but Hijikata had learned to drown out Sougo's monotone voice long ago. He stared up at the sky and twitched when he swore he saw that familiar smile again.

_As long as you don't give up in your heart, it doesn't count as a loss._

* * *

So this is basically a word to word copy of Hijikata's lines in episode 76 right? RIGHT! Please forgive me. I have hit a writer's block so huge that I can only offer this to you guys. I have a little idea that I'm working on that involves an encounter between Hijikata and Otae on a rainy day but other than that I'm pretty much stuck in a ditch. Hopefully I can find some Hijikata and Otae pictures to inspire me. Until next time, BARGAINMAYODASH!


	4. Chapter 4

So I lied. The writer's block suddenly disappeared. Hurray?

Disclaimers and spoilers and stuff insert here: ( )

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It was a dreary Monday night, rain pattered down not in a relentless manner or a light spit, it was the type of rain that was the most annoying. The kind that showered down with no signs of ceasing. The kind that had been pouring on for almost a week. The kind that sets the stage for dramas like the Monday night dramas.

On this particular night Shimura Tae had gotten caught up at the snack house, there had been a fight (no she was not the cause . . . simply a . . . contributor) and it had taken awhile to break up. Then Otae had been demanded to clean up the mess (that she did not cause . . . she only . . . contributed) and by then it was nearly midnight. Otae was feeling down in the dumps and nothing cheered her up more than Bargain Dash. So she headed to the nearest convenience store with her goal set in her mind. However once she arrived she was displeased to hear that the cashier had no idea what Bargain Dash was. She promptly introduced to him the punishment for not providing proper customer service. Of course then he said weakly, "Oh . . . that Bargain Dash . . ." and with a slight limp he slouched over the ice cream freezer and took out a "Bargain Dash" (no that isn't just Haagen-dazs crossed out and rewritten with a marker as Bargain Dash. It's Bargain Dash. It is.)

As a way of preventing rain water from dripping through out the store there is often a bucket or rack placed at the front entrance to allow customers to leave their soaked umbrellas. However when Otae finished her purchase of the Bargain Dash she turned to see that someone else had taken her umbrella. What was left in the rack was a lonely rattled umbrella that was torn, covered in gapping holes, and rusting. What was Otae to do? It was pouring outside with no sign of stopping, she didn't plan on waiting in the convenience store for the endless rain to stop. And if she did leave she would be drenched immediately, not only that her Bargain Dash would melt. Then she looked down at the tattered umbrella. Beggars can't be choosers.

"What are you doing?"

Otae turned, the broken umbrella barely standing straight in her hand and her Bargain Dash protectively hidden in the sleeve of her kimono. She smiled that same smile,

"Oh shouldn't I ask what you are doing, stalking an innocent girl like me in the middle of night? Did that gorilla send you to stalk me, Hijikata-san?"

Shinsengumi's Vice Commander Hijikata Toshiro stood holding an umbrella and hanging from the corner of his mouth, a soggy cigarette.

"I don't do errands for Kondo-san anymore,"

"Ah is that so? Then, tell me Hijikata-san, what are you doing—" she was interrupted as Hijikata took a step forward, shortening the distance between the two, and then offered the umbrella to Otae. She blinked in surprise and opened her mouth to speak but Hijikata interrupted again,

"Your Bargain Dash will melt, take the umbrella." Otae stared at him for a few moments but smiled softly and accepted the umbrella. Hijikata in turn took the broken umbrella from her hand, turned away, the rain pattering down through the holes in the torn umbrella and soaking him in seconds.

"Hijikata-san!"

"Hmm?" he looked back, the soggy cigarette in his mouth quickly dissolving away. Otae began to speak but she stopped and then smiled,

"Never mind."

* * *

So I finally got to use a few phrases that I have been wanting to use in a story for quite awhile! A) 'Beggars can't be choosers' and B) 'took a step forward, shortening the distance between the two'


	5. Chapter 5

I realize that a lot of my chapters are uber short, there is a reasonable explanation for this. I have a short attention span. I could never sit down and write (HAHA I almost typed right instead of write, there's honestly something breaking down in my brain) a 5000 word chapter (ok there are some exceptions but on average I can't). So, apologies to those who like long chapters with numerous things happening all at once in one chapter. I am a one plot, under 1000 words, short chapter type of writer. Now that I have that out of the way . . .

Insert disclaimers, spoilers, and such, HERE.

* * *

The onslaught of rain had finally ended and clear skies were in the forecast for weeks to come. It was around this time that Edo became a breeding ground for blossoming love and spring romantics. Parks were full to the brink with couples who giggled with linked arms and those who sat gazing meaningfully into each other's eyes on picnic blankets. Among this crowd there sat a pair, not a couple, but a pair who were not so much 'gazing meaningfully into each other's eyes' but more along the lines of glaring intensly into each other's eyes.

"It's not nice to decline food Hijikata-san,"

"I told you, I'm not hungry!"

"Do you want it to go to waste Hijikata-san? You shouldn't let it spoil Hijikata-san,"

"Stop saying 'Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san' are you a parrot? And besides that won't spoil, it isn't even food."

There was some truth to Hijikata's last statement; the bento box in Otae's hands contained some substance that definitely could not be food. It emitted a dark aura that was similar to the one Otae was emitting at that moment, it was black and burnt and charred all over, and most importantly it was not even arranged nicely. Food is all about presentation isn't it?

"My, my, what do you mean 'it isn't even food'? It's in a bento isn't it?"

"What does that have to do with anything?! With that logic a shoe in a bento would be food! It isn't I'm telling you! It isn't!"

Otae let out a long sigh and brought her hand to her cheek, "I'm sorry for letting you down Hijikata-san, I only meant to thank you for lending me your umbrella."

"No, there's no need. Please,"

"Eh, no need? But this is only proper manners. Manners need to be kept Hijikata-san, without them we would be a group of uncivilized fools who went around taking umbrellas and not saying thank you,"

"Please just return the umbrella then if it's causing such guilt on your conscience!"

Otae let out another sigh. "I would expect no less from the Demon Vice Commander,"

"Ehh?"

"Such a cruel—" here Otae abruptly sent a fist pounding into the ground, shaking the very structure of the park. Hijikata staggered back and stared at Otae. "—heartless—" another fist sent flying into the dirt, a deep impact ring appeared, rubble chocked up from the Earth and screams erupted from nearby couples.

"Eeek, what was that? Was it an earthquake?!"

"Let's get out of here!"

The once heavily populated park was quickly emptied as the couples ran for their lives from the mysterious rumbles in the ground. Hijikata and Otae were left alone in a sea of abandoned picnic blankets. Hijikata by now had begun to sweat excessively and the pounding in his heart, although mostly composed of fear, had possibly a hint of admira. . . no it's probably just fear.

"—UNCARING—"

"Ahh wait wait! I'll eat it, I'll eat it. Please. . . just stop." That smile lit up her face again and she answered happily,

"Wah I'm so glad Hijikata-san!" then the bento box of horror was placed before Hijikata the second time that day. He held back a gag and took out a bottle of mayonnaise. As always he poured out almost all of the contents of the bottle onto the unspeakable black substance. Then he took the bento in hand and raised it to mouth level. Even with a pile of mayonnaise there was no denying the terrifying aura around the substance. He glanced up at Otae whose smile was long gone; in its place was a look that smirked and said 'Got you'. Hijikata immediately began to panic inwardly, _THAT WAS ALL AN ACT?! She's not thankful for the umbrella at all! She was humiliated that I saw her in such an embarrassing situation! Now she's trying to silence me!!! Silence me forever! _

Hijikata stared at the deadly meal waiting him. He looked back up at Otae who had switched back to her kind smile. She stared back at him expectantly. There was so much sweat on Hijikata that he could have filled up an ocean.

_There's no escaping this, it's either eat and die or . . . die PAINFULLY by the hands of that woman. SHIT! Whatever!_

Then Hijikata took the spoon at his side and scooped up the mayonnaise and alien substance mixture.

He took a bite.

Chewed.

Swallowed.

It wasn't that bad.

He took another bite and then another. Pretty soon there was nothing left in the bento box.

"Ah," Hijikata looked up calmly at Otae while still chewing on the last of the mayonnaise and who-knows-what-it-is.

_WHAT?!_ Otae drew back in shock and horror. Her mouth hung open as she gawked at the man before her, the only one to ever be able to consume her cooking without severe and immediate damage to the organs. _No blood spurting out? No screaming? No fainting? This doesn't make sense?!_

"Well thank you for the meal. You can keep the umbrella." Hijikata stood up and walked away, leaving a very puzzled Otae. Hijikata lit up a cigarette, inhaled then with a long exhale of smoke, he smiled.

---

Late at night at the Shinsengumi Headquarters, Yamazaki; resident badminton expert, awoke because of nature calls. As he approached the bathroom he was surprised to hear guttural gagging echoing down the dark hallways. Once he entered and turned on the lights he found Shinsengumi's Demon Vice Commander; Hijikata Toshiro, kneeled over the toilet and vomiting in pain.

"That damn woman!"

Yamazaki did what any sane person would do, he turned off the lights and returned to bed.

* * *

Haha bet you weren't expecting another update so soon! Well now that I've typed out all this I've probably reached my limit. See you in another year or so. . .


	6. Chapter 6

Insert disclaimers, spoilers, and such, HERE.

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It was a calm day when Shinpachi decided to set off to work at the Odd Jobs. The sky was clear with a few drifting clouds and the trees swayed ever so gently to the small gusts of wind. As always Shinpachi made his way through the family dojo to the front entrance. However upon passing the kitchen he heard a sudden loud crash followed by screaming and continuous pounding. Despite his gut feeling that was commanding him to bolt out of there, Shinpachi slid open the kitchen door. What he found was a sight that was both unusual and unwelcome, enough for him to stagger back in horror.

"YAAAAAHHHH," Otae, Shinpachi's dear older sister who at times was not the most lady like, appeared to be in the midst of battling a black blob that had a life of its own. The battlefie— kitchen, was completely destroyed. Splatters of questionable substances claimed the walls, wooden spoons lay in halves or splintered pieces on the ground, broken bowls were piled up in the sink along with the occasional whisk and fork that stuck out, counter tops had streaks of black mess that oozed over, but most disastrous was the black smoke that billowed from the stove where Otae was fighting the dark matter.

"SIS! WHAT HAPPENED?" Shinpachi ran over to his sister's side but was thrown back immediately by the dark matter.

"Don't get too close Shinpachi-kun!"

"S-sis, what is that thing?"

Otae's eyes narrowed as she replied solemnly,

"Supa tamagoyaki 13 . . ."

_Supa tamagoyaki 13? It's just tamagoyaki isn't it? Why supa? Why 13? There were 12 supa tamagoyaki's before this? _Shinpachi stared in horror at the growling and menacing black substance. _The name is beside the point! HOW IS THAT EVEN TAMAGOYAKI?_

Two hours, three frying pans, four spatulas, ten broken spoons, and one fainted Shinpachi later, the black substance was subdued and forced into a small bento box. Every once in awhile the bento would shake violently, threatening to release the dangerous black substance, but it held tight and only muffled whimpers and growls could be heard. This bento box that Otae had slaved over and Shinpachi was sacrificed for, was neatly tied up in a handkerchief and then delivered to the Shinsengumi headquarters.

—

"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san," Sougo held in his arms a wrapped up package that had been left at the Shinsengumi headquarters doorstep and was specifically addressed to Hijikata Toshiro. Usually Sougo wouldn't be bothered with such things but he had noticed the dark aura surrounding it and concluded that there was a high likelihood that the package was meant to harm Hijikata, so he gladly decided to deliver it to Hijikata. Again in the same droning and repetitive tone that annoyed Hijikata so much, Sougo called out, "Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san," and as always that bored, gruff, and slightly annoyed voice replied,

"What do you want?" Sougo slid aside the shoji doors to the small room where Hijikata was seated before the television with a cigarette at the corner of his mouth.

"Package for you,"

"Eh?" Hijikata raised an eyebrow at the suspicious dark package and glared at Sougo. "What is it?" Sougo shrugged and carefully Hijikata accepted the package from Sougo and unwrapped its paper and string encasement. The two knelt on the floor to peer over the package and stared in surprise at the simple bento that sat before them. Immediately Hijikata had a flashback to the bento he had eaten barely a week before and was still recovering from.

"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san, why are you so pale?"

"Throw it away,"

"But Hijikata-san—,"

"Throw it away," Hijikata glared at Sougo with gritted teeth, his cigarette slowly being ground into two halves.

"Fiiine," Sougo took back the bento and stood back up. He began to leave the room but stopped at the doorway and glanced over his shoulder at Hijikata who in return glared sharply at him. Sougo began to speak as he slowly removed the lid of the bento,"We should at least—,"

"SOUGO DON'T—"

It was too late, the lid flew off the bento as the trapped black menacing substance broke out in freedom and roared in anger, quickly it consumed the room in pitch dark and the only audible sounds were Hijikata and Sougo's screams.

—

The next day Yamazaki headed out alone for morning patrol as nearly half the Shinsengumi had been mysteriously bedridden by an unknown illness that spread rapidly through the ranks, affecting even the Commander, Vice Commander, and Sougo. Yamazaki wasn't too happy with standing in for morning patrol since he usually spent mornings at badminton practice but nonetheless with a sigh he opened the Shinsengumi's main gates. Much to his surprise, especially on that sunny and bright day, an umbrella lay on the ground before Yamazaki. He picked it up and asked out loud,

"Isn't this the Vice Commander's umbrella?"


	7. Chapter 7

I had this chapter typed up for awhile (except for the ending) and I finally got around to finishing it so here it is~

DISCLAIMERS AND STUFF [HERE]

* * *

"Neh isn't that . . . isn't that Otae-san?"

"Ahhh it is, hurry up and let her in, it's pouring outside!"

"Waah Otae-san you're soaking wet!"

"This is the third time this week, don't you have an umbrella?"

Otae patted her hair dry with a towel as her coworkers fussed over her and the rain continued to patter on outside. She smiled weakly and assured everyone that she was fine but there was a flurry of exchanged glances that knew Otae was not fine. Their suspicions were proved as the day progressed and an increasing number of Otae's customers were driven away by her excessive sneezing, coughing, and tired appearance. By the fourth dissatisfied customer the manager pulled Otae aside and told her to go home and rest.

"Bu— HAAAAAACHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Otae opened her eyes slowly with a sniff and looked sheepishly at her manager who had been thrown to the other side of the hall by the force of her sneeze. He got to his knees with a slight groan and gave Otae a very stern glare.

Fifteen minutes later outside a small pharmacy with flu medicine in hand, Otae was taking cover from the pouring rain, waiting for the clear skies that would never come. A little put out by the fact that she wouldn't be getting her paycheck for the week, Otae rubbed her reddening nose and considered buying Bargain Dash to cheer herself up. But the convenience store was two streets away and would be a big detour from the road home. Not that any of that really mattered anyway since she was stuck waiting for the rain to stop. She sniffled again and stared out miserably at the sea of umbrellas floating down the road.

_Was it really worth it?_ She bit her lip and thought that karma was a little cruel sometimes. It was all for fun regarding the bento and the umbrella had just been the perfect finishing touch. But now she had caught a cold because Shinpachi had left their only other umbrella at the Odd Jobs, she had been too busy to buy a new one, and on top of that the rain had been pouring endlessly for the past week. Otae let out a long sigh and stared out again at the road but as she watched she noticed among the umbrellas a weaving umbrella that interrupted the flow of the other umbrellas with its path headed straight for Otae. She braced herself as the owner of the umbrella came to a stop before her and slowly the umbrella rose to reveal the owner. Otae's eyes widened as that familiar puff of smoke blew out towards her.

"Trapped without an umbrella again, Otae-san?"

"Hijikata-san," she smiled but it was a smile lacking of its usual confidence and sarcasm. The Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi easily saw past her facade and while staring at her indifferently, snuffed out his dimming cigarette on the ground. Otae watched him calmly without a sound as inwardly she was annoyed that of all people to encounter at that moment it just had to be Hijikata Toshiro. Still she said nothing and returned his unchanging gaze, then he looked away slightly as he closed his umbrella and set it against the wall beside Otae. With his hands now free he took out a new cigarette and lit it with ease. After taking a long drag and then breathing out slowly he looked down at Otae who, despite the usual calm smile on her face, was becoming increasingly agitated by Hijikata's actions. On a better day Otae would have punched Hijikata in the gut or flipped him over while screaming something along the lines of 'smoking will kill you!' or 'second hand smoke is just as deadly as first hand smoke!' but she was tired and should really have been resting in bed. So Otae did nothing and instead stared past Hijikata, trying to ignore him and his surprisingly close proximity to her. For awhile neither said anything or did anything, Otae stared and Hijikata smoked. Then abruptly but still very calmly, Hijikata stepped past Otae, making his way into the pharmacy. Surprised by his sudden movement Otae asked out loud,

"Where are you going?" Hijikata looked back at Otae and replied nonchalantly,

"To buy food poisoning medicine," A moment of silence fell over them as Otae inwardly felt a sense of victory and Hijikata stood blocking the pharmacy entrance.

"Ah customer, I'm sorry but could you please decided whether to come inside or stand outside? Also this is a non-smoking area," Hijikata and Otae ignored the store keeper's request and continued instead to stare at each other. Otae's victory was slowly fading, slowly but surely she was getting glimpses of guilt and an uneasy feeling began to build in her chest. She frowned and Hijikata, still maintaining his calm composure, asked,

"Is something wrong?" Otae blinked and broke their eye contact, glancing away and down towards the ground, frantically she tried to come up with a response in her mind but nothing came to mind. Hijikata continued to stare at Otae who hesitantly looked up at him after a considerable time. She met his gaze for a brief moment before he turned and entered the small pharmacy, despite the store keeper's protests, still smoking his cigarette. Otae blinked, unsure of what had just happened, she took a slight step back and felt her foot brush something. Startled she looked behind her and saw Hijikata's umbrella leaning against the wall. Almost forgotten in the confusion over Otae and Hijikata's exchange, the umbrella had remained against the wall, waiting to shield whoever from the harsh patter of rain. Otae stared at the thin umbrella in deep thought. Meanwhile in the pharmacy, after many glares from Hijikata and many frightened yelps from the store keeper, Hijikata was ready to make his purchase.

"Remember to drink this medicine with water every other hour sir," the store keeper smiled nervously, glancing at Hijikata's still brightly lit cigarette, before handing him a doggy bag containing the food poisoning medicine. The store keeper hadn't been able to summon enough courage to remind Hijikata of the no-smoking policy, especially not after recieving the sharp glares and very-Yakuza-like 'hanh?'s from Hijikata. Instead the store keeper bowed deeply and whispered a fearful "Take care . . ." as Hijikata took his leave of the small pharmacy. As Hijikata exited the store he was surprised to see that the rain had not stopped but even more surprising; his umbrella and Otae were both still waiting against the wall. He looked at Otae with wide eyes, she glanced at him and then smiled sweetly,

"Oh my, Hijikata-san, why are you staring at me like that? You should hurry home and take that medicine to begin the healing process. I hear recovering from food poisoning can take a very long time," Hijikata moved towards her, reaching for his umbrella at her side,

"Is that so? I heard that recovering from the cold takes even longer," he opened the umbrella and stared at Otae who replied,

"Is that so?" they stared again at each other before Hijikata handed the umbrella to Otae. She took it but began to retort his action, however she was interrupted, as Hijikata scoffed slightly,

"Stubborn woman," and then in one swift motion, Hijikata swept Otae off her feet, carrying her in the classic damsel in distress being saved by the chivalrous knight position. She protested by promptly punching him in the jaw, a punch that should have knocked him out, but all it did was knock the cigarette from his mouth. Hijikata still held Otae firmly in his arms although he was now twitching in anger as he screamed at Otae, "Oi what was that?"

"Self defense," Otae looked up at Hijikata with that familiar sweet smile and he stared down at her with that ever prominent glare, there was silence as Hijikata's jaw began to bruise and swell from Otae's punch. Hijikata didn't know how to respond to Otae, his heart was beating like crazy, either from the adrenaline of being punched by Otae or because of that familiar sweet smile she was giving him. Either way he was speechless. Otae didn't know what to say now that she had punched Hijikata in 'self defense', it had really been more of a reflex action towards Hijikata sweeping her off her feet so unexpectedly and easily, besides that she was trying to deny the fact that she was beginning to find it very comfortable in his arms. Either way she was speechless.

They were both speechless for what seemed to be hours. It was actually only a few seconds but it was still enough time for an elderly woman to come along who needed to enter the pharmacy. Blocked by Hijikata and Otae who were lost in each others smile and glare, the elderly woman cleared her throat, but to no avail. So she cleared her throat louder, still no reaction from either Hijikata or Otae. Tired of this the elderly woman said,

"My, isn't it nice that lovers can still be so lovey dovey in the open, and on such a rainy day too," this statement seemed to jolt Otae out of her trance as she replied in her trademark bittersweet tone,

"Oh my, old granny what are you saying? Of course we're able to do this in the open and on such a rainy day too. We still have our youth (unlike you) old granny," the elderly woman was angered by the underlying insult behind Otae's sweet smile but she scoffed and hobbled into the pharmacy, choosing to ignore Otae but still feeling deeply insulted. There was a spark of triumph and spite in Otae's eyes as she glared at the old woman. Hijikata watched her in amusement and awoken from his trance, said calmly,

"Alright that's enough of insulting the elderly for today, you need to go home and rest,"

"So do you Hijikata-san, food poisoning doesn't heal itself,"

_Still rubbing that in my face, I see. _ Hijikata smirked slightly and replied,

"Is that so? Well it can't be helped then," he turned and started down the road with Otae still in his arms. They left the cover of the pharmacy and the rain began to patter on their shared umbrella.

"What are you doing?" Otae demanded, a slight blush overcoming her cheeks as people passing by whispered and stared at the Demon Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi carrying a woman in a way only seen exaggerated in dramas.

"Your dojo is along the way to the Shinsengumi Headquarters, so I may as well share this umbrella with you until then," Otae blinked at Hijikata's response, the Kakidōkan Dojo was not along the way to the Shinsengumi Headquarters at all, in fact there was quite a distance separating the two. Otae smiled and laughed genuinely at Hijikata's claim.

"Yes, since it is along the way," Hijikata glanced at the laughing Otae and he felt his heart skip a beat. Hijikata smiled slightly, almost in confusion, but then quickly masked it with his hard glare. Otae as well quickly checked herself, calming her laugh and glancing away, embarrassed that she had shown genuine amusement instead of her usual sadistic like amusement. So they went along the road of streaming umbrellas under the gloomy sky, Otae in Hijikata's arms, and the shaky umbrella that didn't quite fully shield the two from the pattering rain.

* * *

Bordering cuteness overdose, especially for such a violent couple like them, but I was debating whether or not to have skinship (if Hijikata carrying Otae can be considered skinship) in this chapter or later on. Didn't know if I wanted to progress them or just keep them as they are with the childish exchanges of pranks and remarks. I guess I made them progress since the end of this chapter isn't as full of CAPS because of their screaming or whatever. Is it more mature? Ah well, just random rambling of how I should continue from here. I don't like progressing the couple because then I will very abruptly end the story and I like this plot so I want to continue it a bit more. Whatever~ Ignore this since I just felt like rambling.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the long wait!

As always, INSERT DISCLAIMERS AND SPOILERS HERE.

* * *

"Eh, Sis, where are you going?" Shinpachi asked as his older sister, Otae, prepared to leave the house. It was very early in the morning and the only reason why Shinpachi was awake at such an early hour was because he needed to get to the Odd Jobs office early. Otae on the other hand had the day off and it seemed very peculiar to Shinpachi that she would be going out so early instead of sleeping in. Maybe they were out of Bargain Dash at home.

Shinpachi called out again after not receiving a reply from Otae, "Sis!"

Otae turned with a calm smile and replied in a sweet voice, "Yes Shinpachi-kun?"

"Ah— eh, where are you going so early in the morning?" Shinpachi nervously asked, weary of his sister's sweet outer appearance, because he knew very well of her violent inner nature. Otae, continuing to smile calmly, answered,

"The Shinsengumi Headquarters."

Shinpachi's jaw dropped. Otae closed the door behind her and headed for the Shinsengumi Headquarters with a dark aura trailing behind her.

—

"Gin-san! Wake up, there's an emergency!" frantically Shinpachi screamed as he shook the soundly sleeping Sakata Gintoki. In his shocked state Shinpachi had froze up and was unable to stop his sister from leaving. When Shinpachi had finally snapped out of it, Otae was long gone, and Shinpachi panicking had immediately ran to the Odd Jobs office for help. But help is not that easy to find sometimes.

"Mahhh, what are you talking about?" Gintoki mumbled, his annoyance at being woken up so early was very transparent. Shinpachi shook the lazy boss of Odd Jobs once more and screamed,

"Sis said she was going to the Shinsengumi Headquarters! Why? Even though she is constantly being stalked by that gorilla she's actually going straight to his home?"

"Ehhh, how should I know why your sister does what she does? Maybe she's finally giving herself up for all those times she violently beat innocent civilians," Gintoki pushed Shinpachi away and curled back up in his bed. Shinpachi stood defeated until he glanced towards the closet where Kagura slept. All hope was not lost. He slid open the closet door quickly,

"Kagura-chan—," Immediately a fist made contact with Shinpachi's face and he was sent flying across the room.

"Go die," Kagura grumbled before she slammed the closet door shut. Shinpachi crouched on the ground, clutching his now bleeding nose,

"_All hope is lost!_"

At the same time in a convenience store somewhat nearby a young cashier was quivering and stuttering before the presence of a certain two individuals. The first one's words stung a great deal sharper than the sweet tone that delivered them.

"What do you mean this coupon can't be used on the Bargain Dash?"

"I-It's exactly l-li-like I said— the Bargain Dash is already marked down so—,"

"Fifty percent is barely marked down,"

"Mi-miss,"

"What kind of business do you run here?"

"I-I-I could c-ca-call the ma—,"

"If you're going to mark it down by fifty than you may as well just mark it off by one hundred,"

"B-but M-miss that would mean giving i-it for free,"

"Exactly," the cashier cowered in fear and glanced over at the man in a Shinsengumi uniform next to her. The cashier's eyes pleaded for help but like it was said before, help is not that easy to find sometimes. Bottles of mayonnaise were slammed onto the check out counter by the Shinsengumi officer who wore a dark and intimidating glare,

"So the Bargain Dash gets marked down but what about the mayonnaise? Is this mayo-discrimination?" the very yakuza like threatening manner of speaking contrasted against the status of the Shinsengumi officer. It only added to the confusion and fear the cashier was feeling. Trapped by the two, the distraught cashier looked from the threatening glare on his face to the deadly grin on hers. A scream rang out.

Moments later the manager of the 7-11 convenience store returned from his break only to find his employee crouched on the ground behind the counter, rocking back and forth in fetal position, his eyes wide open as he muttered repeatedly,

"What is the meaning of life? What is . . ."

—

Having lost faith in humanity (like the young cashier), Shinpachi had left the Odd Jobs office to wander in the streets of Edo, his shoulders slumped downward in depression. Only making matters worse Shinpachi felt a drop of water land on his cheek. He brought out his hand as more rain drops followed and began to fall in a steady patter, people around him ran for shelter, calling out in surprise at the sudden rain fall. Shinpachi remained under the pouring rain with his glasses inevitably fogging up. Shinpachi sniffled, brought his sleeve up to wipe his glasses, but suddenly stopped. He quickly looked up while wiping his glasses hurriedly. Shinpachi blinked,

"Sis?" Sure enough at the end of the street on the stoop of a convenience store Otae stood with a great deal of plastic bags in tow. She blinked and brought out her hand to confirm the rain fall. A smile grew on Shinpachi's face as he called out to his sister, "Sis! Over here Sis—," Shinpachi stopped in his steps as a figure stepped out beside Otae. He was wearing a Shinsengumi uniform. Before Shinpachi could get closer to make out the figure's face an umbrella opened up and shielded both Otae and the mystery man from view. Shinpachi ran forward but the two had already stepped into a Shinsengumi patrol car. Stumbling and tripping Shinpachi ran after the quickly receding car while still calling out to his sister. He slipped and tumbled to the ground, water splashing up on his clothes and glasses, Shinpachi reached out again, "Sis . . ."

Otae was seated in the front passenger seat of the Shinsengumi patrol car, blissfully unaware of her little brother calling out to her. She sighed happily, "I don't know how to repay you this time—," Otae looked over at the figure in the driver's seat, "— Hijikata-san,"

"There's no need," the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi said in his gruff voice. A flashback of the horrible bento box (Super tamagoyaki 13) ran rampant in his mind. Hijikata blinked and shuddered. Otae turned to look at the pile of plastic bags in the back seat, the car turned and one of the bags opened to reveal a stash of Bargain Dash (marked down to half price of half price of half . . . etc.,).

"But it was such a big success," Otae smiled— a genuinely pleased smile on her lips, unlike her usual sadistic smile. Hijikata glanced over and reddened at the rare sight of this side of Otae. A blast of a horn as Hijikata, in his state, had neglected steering the car. He quickly swerved back into the appropriate lane and cleared his throat while trying to regain his composure. The plastic bags shifted and the peaks of hoards of mayonnaise bottles could be seen. "Hmm, well I guess you got a pretty good deal out of this as well," Otae turned back to face the front of the car, seemingly unfazed by the little mishap of Hijikata's steering. Hijikata grunted in response, his eyes fixed on the road, he was intent on not being distracted again by the smiling woman beside him. Silence fell on the two. Hijikata's eyes flickered to Otae. She was staring out the window calmly, her eyes following the rain drops as they drizzled down their paths along the glass. Hijikata's tense grip on the wheel relaxed and for a small amount of time the only sound that could be heard was the steady hum of the engine and the friction of the wheels against the cement road. Then Otae spoke, a mischievous spark in her tone,

"I wonder if the 7-11 across town also has such an easy to break cashier?" Hijikata smiled at Otae's suggestion and then replied with a growing dark grin on his lips,

"If not, we might have to resort to force," an excited grin from both,

"Yes, let's hope we will not have to resort to force," Otae said while the look in her eyes read loud and clear that she wished dearly that they would have to resort to force. And so the two drove off to . . . bargain . . . at the next convenience store for marked down Bargain Dash and Mayonnaise.

Meanwhile at the Shinsengumi Headquarters; Yamazaki was, as always, practicing his badminton swing in the court. Shinsengumi's Commander Kondo Isao walked in just as Yamazaki hit his 134th swing.

"Yamazaki, have you seen Toshi?"

"Eh? Vice Commander? No I haven't seen him today. One hundred thirty five—,"

"Hmm," Kondo looked out at the aircraft cluttered sky stretching over all of Edo. _Toshi's been absent a lot recently. _

* * *

What is the meaning of life indeed. Don't worry, they paid for the Bargain Dash and Mayonnaise. It's just that their idea of a fun date is harassing unsuspecting cashiers . . . what do you expect from the most violent couple in edo?

Next few chapters will be based on recent episodes. (OMFG TOGORO! if you don't know what I'm talking about, watch ep.203 NOW. DO IT.) _  
_


	9. Chapter 9

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR GINTAMA EPISODE 203.

I DO NOT OWN GINTAMA. This is merely a spin off of episode 203 and all rights and credit, etc., are reserved for Hideaki Sorachi, the honorable creator of the Gintama series.

En-joi! (clever word play there huh? ;D)

* * *

"Stop!" Otae cried out as she shielded the bundle in her arms, "You've got it wrong!" Still Shinpachi charged forward at his sister with a raised paper fan ready to be brought down full force.

Despite the seemingly harmful intention of Shinpachi's action, his intentions were only to knock away the wart— or more specifically the infectious alien called Q'Sai Nettle— that was infecting his sister. The Q'Sai Nettle had infected a great deal of Shinpachi's closest friends and acquaintances and Shinpachi vowed to return everyone to normal, starting with his sister. Shinpachi couldn't stand the image of Otae being married to that gorilla. Especially not after he had seen Otae and the gorilla's fake married life which even if it was caused by the warts, was still a creepy sight to behold. Even worse after seeing Otae with a Shinsengumi uniformed man at her side, Shinpachi's worst fears were that Kondo was no longer a stalker and was actually welcomed by his sister. But in his angered state Shinpachi couldn't even begin to suspect that the mysterious Shinsengumi uniformed man at Otae's side had not been Kondo but instead; Hijikata Toshiro .

"The father of my child is actually . . ." Otae screamed before revealing the face of the baby wrapped up in her arms, "Look at the hair!" It was revealed to be a peacefully sleeping face with round cheeks, a rather average looking baby, except it was hard not to notice the prominent v-shaped tuft of hair over the baby's forehead. V-shaped bangs that were identical to Hijikata's.

Hijikata immediately slid in front of Otae and blocked Shinpachi's attack with his own paper fan.

"What are you doing?" Shinpachi stared at Hijikata in shock as Hijikata looked back at the baby in Otae's arms.

"Th—that hair . . . that v-shaped hair is—?"

"Of course not! How could the two of you have a kid when you barely even know each other?" Shinpachi in angered bewilderment withdrew from his attack and screamed at the two. Hijikata straightened and looked over at Otae as she ran forward to him. Her hand came to rest on his chest,

"Forgive me Toshi-san. I couldn't hide my true feelings. Even after pretending to be married to Goril— ah I mean— Isao-san . . ." Otae looked up and met Hijikata's gun-metal blue eyes. Shinpachi in utter disbelief shouted but his voice fell to the background in Hijikata's ears as he stared back into Otae's dark brown eyes. Shinpachi's previous outraged words repeated in Hijikata's mind.

_'. . . you barely even know each other . . .' _

"Please take us away to a world without gorillas!" Otae pleaded.

"Hijikata-san don't be fooled! You don't have a kid!" Shinpachi screamed in an attempt to bring Hijikata back to reality. Hijikata continued to stare at Otae then his eyes wandered down at the child in her arms, the child with v-shaped bangs,

_This isn't real . . ._ Hijikata brought his hands down on Otae's shoulders after confirming his thoughts. "You thought you could fool me with such a cheap trick?" _. . . even so . . . _"Give me the kid and scram." with a completely serious look on his face, "I'll look after it,"

"You've been completely fooled!" Shinpachi responded in shock. Hijikata took the bundle from Otae and faced Shinpachi,

"Hey, can you spare the kid? Let me raise Togoro!"

"Calm down! Who the hell is Togoro?" Shinpachi screamed in disbelief at the worsening state of Hijikata's grip on reality. The situation only got worse when Kondo, having lost his mind over Hijikata and Otae's affair, appeared behind the three.

—

Of course events unfolded and eventually all were restored to their former sane state (well as sane as they technically were before). Hijikata was recovering at the Shinsengumi Headquarters in the same way he always did; by sitting comfortably in a kimono before the television set, a large bowl of mayonnaise on the kotatsu before him. Hijikata took a thick spoonful of mayonnaise from the bowl and chomped down on it. As he chewed on the rich consistency of mayonnaise a news bulletin sounded on the television,

"As most people should be aware of by now, Edo has experienced a breakout of mysterious wart infections, these warts have been identified as the alien forms called Q'Sai Nettle . . ." the explanation of the Q'Sai Nettle's infection process continued as Hijikata took another spoonful from his bowl of mayonnaise. "It should be noted that these aliens are attracted to ambition. People with more ambition have a higher chance of being infected, and the aliens will evolve according to that ambition." Hijikata's jaw moved up and down slowly as he pondered on those last words. An image of the little baby with v-shaped hair flashed across Hijikata's eyes.

_. . . evolve according to that ambition? _Hijikata's thoughts wandered back to the feel of the small bundle of a child in his arms. It was warm and if he had had the time to check, Hijikata was sure the child would have had a very 'new born baby' smell. Quickly pushing those thoughts away Hijikata scratched the back of his head, an expression on his face that was a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. His thoughts continued however and they came to fall on that moment when Otae placed her hand on his chest.

_'Forgive me . . . Toshi-san'_ Hijikata's poker face stood strong but her voice repeated itself again in his mind, _'Toshi-san . . . Toshi-san . . . To—'_ Hijikata bent over, his arm leaning against the kotatsu and clenching the spoon in his hand tightly, his other arm was wrapped around his waist. A look of confusion and reddening cheeks erased Hijikata's usual calm unreadable face. He was clutching his waist trying to convince himself that he had eaten too much mayonnaise and that's what this weird feeling was. But he couldn't ignore what was really bothering him, it was not his stomach, but rather his heart tightening in his chest. In such a moment it just had to be that Sougo slid open the door to reveal Hijikata crouched over in pain (or complete utter joy, although Sougo would prefer the first over the second).

"Ah? Hijikata-san what are you doing?"

"Nothing, go away,"

"Eh it doesn't look like nothing Hijikata-san," Sougo blinked as a thought occurred to him, "Could it be you've been infected by the Q'Sai Nettle again?" Sougo then pulled out his bazooka rather naturally from behind him, "I'll blow it away for you," the bazooka locked on Sougo's target and clicked in anticipation,

"YOU'LL BLOW AWAY MY HEAD!"Hijikata screamed up at Sougo. Hijikata grunted and looked away. Sougo loosened his finger on the trigger, another thought occurring to him as he asked in all seriousness,

". . . Are you constipated?"

"GO AWAY,"

"It must be all that mayonnaise—,"

"I said. Go. Away." as Hijikata grumbled his warning threateningly, Kondo ran into the room behind Sougo, an excited look on his face as he waved around the slim slips of paper in his hand.

"Look at the baseball tickets I bought for—," Kondo stopped as he regarded the knelt over Hijikata,"Eh, Toshi, what's wrong?"

"Hijikata-san's constip—,"

"LIKE HELL I AM!" Hijikata angrily interrupted Sougo and being too distraught to come up with a proper excuse Hijikata tried to hide his still flushed face from Kondo and Sougo. Kondo raised an eyebrow as Sougo lowered his bazooka. Sougo annoyed at not being the cause of whatever made Hijikata bend over in such pain, turned from the room with a disappointed,

"Tch," Kondo watched the little sadistic First Division Captain of the Shinsengumi walk away with the bazooka propped over his shoulder. Kondo shrugged and turned back excitedly to Hijikata. As Kondo took a seat across from Hijikata he happily continued on about the tickets in his hands,

"Neh Toshi, do you think Otae-san likes baseball?"

"Eh?" Hijikata blinked and looked over at the wide eyed Commander of the Shinsengumi before him. Kondo seemed embarrassed all of a sudden and with a slight blush began to explain,

"Mahh it's just— that well— I bought these tickets hoping to ask Otae-san out on a date. Everyone likes baseball right? Well it should be ok— eh, Toshi, is something wrong?" Hijikata, unwillingly, had begun to grimace and it seemed like that pain in his chest had started to grow. Slowly Hijikata shook his head,

"No, it's nothing . . ."

Kondo blinked, "Eh . . . could it be— Toshi . . .?" Hijikata winced, afraid that he had underestimated Kondo and that Kondo had seen right through him, "You're really constipated?"

"I'M NOT, I'M TELLING YOU! FORGET ABOUT THAT WILL YOU?"

* * *

So remember my comment at the end of chapter one? That child now has a name. Togoro~


	10. Chapter 10

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR GINTAMA EPISODE 205. (also some uh . . . mature language?)

I DO NOT OWN GINTAMA. This is merely a spin off of episode 205 and all rights and credit, etc., are reserved for Hideaki Sorachi, the honorable creator of the Gintama series.

* * *

Home to Shimura Tae and Shinpachi, the Kakidōkan Dojo was usually more alive with the sound of life but on that bright and warm summer day the only thing that could be heard was the occasional creaking of the wood as the wind blew through empty rooms. Of all the rooms in the large Kakidōkan Dojo estate only one room was occupied at that moment. You would never have noticed it if you only listened, but if you had bothered to raise your nose a little, the distinct smell of cigarettes would meet your senses.

"It's just a small favor," Hijikata let a line of smoke ease out from his mouth, he tapped the cigarette on the edge of the ash tray before him.

"And why should I do it?" Otae with that same sweet expression looked over at Hijikata, glaring slightly at the cigarette between his fingers.

"Just say you'll do it,"

"Why?"

"Just—,"

"Why Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata grunted in exasperation, a cloud of smoke rose to the ceiling, he looked straight into Otae's unchanging dark brown eyes.

"Look at it this way . . . if you agree to indulge him for this one date, afterwards, you can tell him to never bother you again," Hijikata attempted to reason with Otae who in return stared at him in serious thought. Her gaze was unnerving him and he quickly glanced away, opting to fumble clumsily with the cigarette in his hand. Finally Otae spoke,

"Hijikata-san what makes you think that that Gorilla-idiot will stop his pursuit after one date? If anything it'll only encourage him more,"

"Eh? Ah— I . . ." _I never thought of that._ "I'm sure Gor— ah I mean Kondo-san will stop. If you're very clear with him."

Otae regarded Hijikata and then accusingly asked, "How do I know he didn't just send you here to convince me?"

"Kondo-san doesn't know that I'm here," Hijikata returned Otae's hard gaze. He couldn't tell Otae his real reason for coming to the Kakidōkan Dojo with this plea. It would have sounded like he was mocking her. Otae seeming satisfied after analyzing Hijikata's face and took a sip of her tea.

"Was it baseball you said?"

"Yes," Hijikata put out his cigarette in the ash tray.

"I don't dislike baseball," Otae said vaguely as she looked out to the backyard. Hijikata watched his cigarette crumble into the ashes before slowly looking up at Otae.

_I just want her to be happy._

_—_

"Well, you girly men probably wouldn't understand." Hijikata and Sougo sat opposite to Kondo who had his arms crossed over his chest with a certain air of pride. Kondo had been bragging about his success in finally getting Otae to go on a date with him. Hijikata felt his heart tug but he refused to acknowledge it and instead distracted himself with pouring a mound of mayonnaise on the meal before him.

"He's not really girly, he just eats shit." Sougo pointed towards Hijikata and the pile of mayonnaise.

"Shut your trap, you sick bastard." Hijikata glared over at Sougo, annoyed on the outside but thankful for the distraction on the inside, although he would never let Sougo know this.

"This must be a trap," Sougo turned his attention back to Kondo, somewhat satisfied with the annoyed response he got from Hijikata, "As a fellow sadist, I can guess what's in her mind"

"Shut up!" Kondo cried out in denial, his arms still proudly crossed over his chest. Hijikata turned his attention to his meal while thinking; _This is for the best. _But then Kondo, being Kondo, began to relate his endeavor to a rather indecent image.

"Your metaphors are too obscene." Hijikata remarked, his usual tolerance for his Commander's perverse nature was beginning to slip. Hijikata had tolerated Kondo for many years but he found himself stirring inside as Kondo made his obscene references to Otae. He tried to redirect the conversation. "Did she say anything else?"

"No. She'll be waiting in front of the station at one on Sunday. Ah and she told me to stop following her around after this and to never visit her business again," Kondo replied happily but the looks on Sougo and Hijikata's faces were those of two who could see much further beyond those words than Kondo ever could. _At least she was very clear with him like I told her to be, _Hijikata thought as Kondo continued on, "Well, we'll be in a relationship now so that won't be needed anymore!"

Hijikata felt like face palming himself. Sougo, as always, said what others honestly thought but would not say in order to spare the feelings of the other,

"Isn't she telling you to completely forget about her after indulging you one last time?"

"Shut up!" Kondo stood up on the seat and began foretelling his guaranteed success, Hijikata watched him with something unsettling aching at his heart.

—

The winds had picked up and rain tore down from the sky on the greater Edo region. Still Kondo stood in full baseball game watching gear in front of the Shinsengumi Headquarters. Hijikata and Sougo stood at the front gate behind him.

"We're right in the path of the typhoon. She's not gonna show." Hijikata realistically noted. At least Hijikata hoped Otae wouldn't show. Even if he had gone directly to her house— on his own free will— to bargain for her agreement to Kondo's baseball date, and even if he had believed that his real reason was because he wanted her to be happy . . . Hijikata couldn't help but hope Otae wouldn't show. Then maybe Kondo would finally get a clue and give up. Then Hijikata and Otae could continue with their weekly convenience store runs for half off Bargain Dash and mayonnaise. But Kondo charged forward to meet up with Otae— despite the rain, wind, and spears that flew at him. Hijikata watched as Kondo's back receded from his view, he reached into his pocket and gripped the bottle of mayonnaise, the 50% off label sticking to his palm.

—

Kondo's cellphone began to ring just as the clouds in the sky began to clear and Kondo had reached his conclusion that fate had determined that him and Otae were not meant to be. A typhoon, a painful chase after the baseball game tickets, and a heart warming family reunited side plot were enough to convince him so. But even so, as Kondo brought his cellphone to his ear, a part of him was hoping that maybe—just maybe— he would hear that sweet voice on the other line.

"Kondo-san?" Hijikata's gruff voice met Kondo's ears instead.

"Toshi?"

"Sorry it's not your girl," Hijikata's emphasis of the words 'your girl' was punishment on himself for the anger ignited by Kondo's proclamations earlier. Hijikata hadn't really shown it but that unsettling twitch had been a sudden angered desire to protect Otae from Kondo, which on further thought (with much self-convincing and bowls of mayonnaise) was a stupid thing to get riled up over. Yes. Stupid. Just stupid. An image of Otae smiling flashed before Hijikata. Kondo's defeated voice immediately cleared Otae's image from Hijikata's mind.

"Heh, the girl doesn't matter anymore." A skip in Hijikata's heart beat. "I'm devoting myself to the sword."

"I see," Relief seemed to fill Hijikata up, he glanced away and tried to concentrate on the conversion at hand. "Sorry to bother you while you're down, but we have a problem on our hands." Hijikata continued on to explain the current situation and the inevitable approach of a previously undetected meteorite. The cigarette in his mouth bounced at each word that left his lips. "We'll have to issue an evacuation order. Well, there probably won't be much damage, but you better stay away from the dome." Hijikata's words of caution would never reach Kondo as his cellphone lay abandoned on the street. "Huh? Kondo-san? Kondo-san?" Hijikata checked the screen of his cellphone to see if he still had connection. There was nothing wrong with his cellphone's service. Hijikata blinked. Realization dawned on him and with a light scoff he flipped his phone shut. _That idiot is probably going to the dome now. _Hijikata thought and shook his head. _It doesn't matter, she's probably not at the dome anyways. _Hijikata looked at the blinking screens behind him, they were tracking the closing in meteorite headed for the baseball dome, Hijikata gulped. _At least I hope she isn't._

Blip. Blip. Blip.

_God damnit! _Hijikata spun from the monitors and towards the doors, angrily pushing aside Yamazaki who had been chewing on anpan. Hijikata ran straight for the dome, the wind whipped his cigarette from his mouth but he didn't care, he simply ran forward. The cigarette landed on the ground after a few tumbles but it continued to burn brightly.

Hijikata knew he was getting closer as crowds of people began to push against him. They were all trying to get away from the dome. Then there was a flash of light as the meteorite broke through the gather clouds, headed straight for the dome. Hijikata ran faster, his heart pounding against his chest, his arms pushing people away. _Let me through! Let me through god damnit! _

Suddenly there was a loud thud followed by skidding and then a crash. Innocent bystanders screamed in shock and Hijikata turned around. That display of sound effects had been Kondo whizzing through the air, landing on the ground, tumbling, and then slamming against a car.

"Kondo-san!" Hijikata ran over by instinct to his Commander's side. "Kondo-san!" he cried out again as he reached the bleeding, bruising, and shriveled Kondo. The Commander of the Shinsengumi looked up through a swelling and black eyed face, trails of blood had begun to stream down his face. "Kondo-san are you alright?" Kondo opened his mouth to speak, he was missing a few teeth,

"Fate can be so cruel sometimes Toshi . . ."

"Eh?" Hijikata blinked and upon observing Kondo's wound there was that undeniable familiarity of them. Hijikata fought back the smile that tugged at the hardened frown on his face. Only one person could inflict such wounds. Only one . . . sweet smiling girl.


	11. Chapter 11

He has a weird obsession with mayonnaise.

She has a weird obsession with Bargain Dash. 

He hates women.

She doesn't need a man to protect her. 

He hates cabaret clubs.

She works at a cabaret club. 

He's the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi.

She hates the Shinsengumi (especially their Commander). 

He's a compulsive smoker.

She's a violent sadist. 

He has no idea why that sweet smile makes his heart skip a beat.

She has no idea why she's grown accustom to the smell of smoke. 

Neither of them understand what's going on between them. 

Neither of them want to admit what they feel. 

* * *

First off sorry about the delay. Secondly, sorry about this extremely short update. I was planning on uploading 11 and 12 together since 11 is so short but I haven't gotten around to starting 12 yet. Please take this update as something of a filler chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

So sometimes I end up writing another chapter immediately after uploading one, even though I had writer's block before uploading. It's weird. Anyways here's another chapter!

Based loosely off Episode 216. I do not own Gintama.

* * *

_Kids these days have too many questions. _Hijikata twitched in anger and glared at the group of children gathered before him. One kid, with an exceedingly strange afro-perm, middle-aged glasses, and a notepad with pen in hand, was going on and on with his questions.

"Who would be a bad person? So the law is always good? I have a question then!"

When the position of Shinsengumi promotional tour guide was brought up during the Shinsengumi weekly meeting, no one volunteered, and they ended up having to draw straws. Hijikata drew the shortest straw. And so he had to give up one of his rare days off to babysit a bunch of cheeky brats. He wasn't enjoying it.

"Could you explain how much trouble a person must cause to be considered a criminal? For example . . ." the boy trailed off and pointed to a store to the left of the group. Hijikata looked over to where the boy was pointing and if he had had a cigarette in his mouth, he would have choked on it or swallowed it— or both. The boy continued, "We have an individual getting the snot knocked out of him by the woman he keeps stalking. Which one is the criminal?" In the background Otae continued to use Kondo's head as a punching bag.

—

The tour didn't go well. In fact it basically ended before it even started. The Otae and Kondo incident had pretty much guaranteed that. Dejectedly, Hijikata had resigned himself to muttering to himself and unrolling his patriot at a nearby cafe. What did those brats know anyways? Hijikata continued to unravel the paper roll and in his defeated state, barely noticed when a figure stopped next to his growing pile of toilet paper.

"What are you doing, Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata paused for a moment and glanced up. Otae, holding the bags of groceries she had earlier used to beat Kondo with, tilted her head at the sorry sight of the Shinsengumi's Vice Commander. Hijikata's chest tightened.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

Otae glanced at the pile of toilet paper at Hijikata's feet and then up at the patriot on the table. She made a slight noise of disapproval.

"You're littering, Hijikata-san." she ripped the roll of toilet paper and the loose end fell to the pile on the ground.

"Ah—,"

Otae set her grocery bags on the floor and signaled to a waiter to clear away the pile of paper on the ground. Hijikata blinked and stared at Otae as she took the seat opposite of him. Otae returned his stare and said calmly,

"If you're going to sit at a cafe at least order something to eat,"

Fifteen minutes later both Hijikata and Otae had a bowl of ice cream before them on the table. Otae enforced that it was Bargain Dash regardless of what the menu or waiter said and when Hijikata tried to correct her, he received a quick convincing punch to the face. With a growing bruise on his cheek Hijikata absent mindedly took out his ever present bottle of mayonnaise and began to top his Bargain Dash with it. Halfway through Hijikata froze and his face darkened.

A thought occurred to Hijikata. Otae's love for Bargain Dash was so severe that surely anybody who tried to mix condiments with it and therefore ruin its sanctity would get more than just a fistful in the face. Hijikata gulped. He cautiously glanced up at Otae. She was happily eating her share of Bargain Dash. Hijikata blinked. The mound of mayonnaise on Hijikata's Bargain Dash didn't seem to affect Otae at all. But it would have been difficult for Otae to not notice that Hijikata was staring at her. She blinked and asked,

"What is it Hijikata-san? It's not polite to stare at others when they're eating,"

"Ah, sorry. No, it's nothing . . . never mind." Hijikata looked away and took a spoonful of the Bargain Dash and mayonnaise. A flash of reminiscence overcame Hijikata as he took his first bite. All those times women fawned over him in the beginning and then the quick succession of screams of horror as he revealed his quirky obsession with mayonnaise. Women were so fickle. One moment they were sighing and laughing, 'Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san'. The next moment they were holding back their gag reflex and exclaiming, while pointing at his mayonnaise topped meals, 'What is that?' or 'THE HORROR', stuff like that. Honestly, what was so bad about mayonnaise?

Hijikata lost himself in his thoughts and they ended up finishing their respective deserts in silence. Otae had stood up first and then Hijikata followed. They faced each other for their farewells. She was staring up at him with a very concentrated look. For a moment he thought she had realized that he had eaten Bargain Dash with a large serving of mayonnaise and she was either going to slap him into oblivion or react like those other women. But no look of horror crossed her face. Instead Otae leaned forward. Hijikata went rigid and tried to speak but Otae said firmly,

"Hold still," she took out a handkerchief and began to dab at some stray mayonnaise on the corner of Hijikata's collar. "Honestly, men are such slobs when they eat," Hijikata's heart pounded against his chest like a drum. Every precise stroke of the handkerchief against his shirt collar pushed him closer to her. Otae continued to wipe at the stain carefully. She didn't realize her close proximity to Hijikata until she looked up. Their eyes met. She didn't move. She couldn't move. Hijikata's hand wavered and then slowly he brought his fingers up to hers and covered the slim hand that held the handkerchief. Otae withdrew quickly. The handkerchief caught in Hijikata's hand but Otae made no attempt to take it back. "Well then, goodbye Hijikata-san," she picked up her grocery bags and left without another word. Hijikata was cemented to his spot for a few moments. Then he blinked and thought to call after Otae and to insist that he help her with her groceries as some attempt at an excuse to be with her just a bit longer. But she was already gone. All that was left was her handkerchief in his hand.

* * *

What IS a patriot? I tried to mention it as little as possible because I wasn't sure how to refer to it but I couldn't just ignore it since the whole episode was basically about it. Whatever.

—

On a completely unrelated note I thought I should mention that my favorite Gintama character isn't actually Otae or Hijikata. It isn't Gintoki either. Can anyone guess who it is?


	13. Chapter 13

It was a rather dull and eventless day. The sky was pale and offered no sign of sunshine. The air was brisk with an autumn wind and the city was dejected to leisure indoors. Even the Shinsengumi's Demon Vice Commander had spent the morning on menial cleaning duty. At present the Vice Commander stood in the Shinsengumi yard before the clothes line . . . as he had been for the last hour. There was nothing that stuck out about the clothes line that would make anyone else understand why Hijikata had stood watching it for over an hour. But if anyone had cared to really take a look, they would find that among the towels and cloths that hung from the line was a small handkerchief, delicately fluttering in the wind.

"Hmm— it didn't come off," Hijikata muttered in his signature husky tone.

Just the day before, Hijikata had returned home with Otae's handkerchief in hand and realized that the mayonnaise had stained the handkerchief. Try as he did, the stain wouldn't come off. It remained as a yellowing mark on the plain white fabric. Even a consultation with the Shinsengumi resident clean freak, Kumanaku Seizou, yielded nothing except a lecture on the importance of maintaining good hygiene. So Hijikata decided that if he couldn't return the current handkerchief, the least he could do was replace it with a new one. But what Hijikata took to be a simple task turned into something more challenging than battling a hundred thugs.

"Good day sir," a young sales attendant greeted customers with a bright smile and hands clasped together. In the background light music played throughout the department store and middle aged ladies bustled about with their shopping bags. What stood out was Hijikata in his Shinsengumi uniform, glaring at a selection of brand name handkerchiefs, and a dark burden on his shoulders.

"Hello sir, are you looking to buy something for your girlfriend?"

The young sales attendant made the mistake of approaching Hijikata in his nerve wracked state. You see, Hijikata had never shopped for a girl before and so of course he was nervous. As always though, he came off as threatening and insulted. Hijikata turned, the dark aura spreading out around him, and the cigarette between his teeth being ground to smithereens. Add his killer glare and sharp Yakuza-like, 'Haaanh?' and we have one screaming young sales attendant. Shopping at the department store obviously didn't go so well. So Hijikata took to the small merchant shops of Edo's streets instead. It wasn't long before he saw a charming little store nestled in between a flower shop and a stationery store.

Hijikata entered to find a little shop of trinkets and accessories. In one corner mannequins were dressed in traditional kimonos with sashes draped from the waist to display their intricate patterns. Along the centre were rows of jewelry and silver nuisances while the walls held up splayed out fans with long accent threads hanging to the floor. Hijikata looked around the store and to the back where a small counter was set up, but he didn't see anyone attending to the shop. He was about to leave when he noticed a display of handkerchiefs near the back. Cautiously, he ventured deeper into the store.

_It really shouldn't be this difficult. _Hijikata thought to himself as he glanced at the sample of handkerchiefs before him. _It shouldn't be difficult at all! _Hijikata twitched in annoyance as his eyes scanned across what seemed like an ever growing selection of handkerchiefs. _But why are there so many? It's just a stupid piece of fabric! _The flowing embroidered floral patterns began to flood Hijikata's vision. Hijikata was so absorbed that he didn't notice when an elderly woman suddenly appeared behind him.

"A gift for a lady friend?"

"HaaaAHH?" Hijikata jumped in surprise and then went on to quickly deny everything. "It's for a friend! A mutual acquaintance! No— a favor for a— it's not!"

The old woman smiled and wrinkles stretched across her cheeks and forehead. She was very old, very wise, and could see right through the flustered Hijikata. "Handkerchiefs are so simple, in this day and age only jewelry will get you far," she made to guide Hijikata to the jewelry displays but Hijikata stated,

"It has to be a handkerchief," the old woman glanced at Hijikata. He blushed and stuttered, "F-for the acquaintance—,"

The old woman sighed and remarked, "What a romantic,"

"That's not it! It's to replace an old one! That's why it has to be a handkerchief—,"

"Ahh okay, okay, I get it." Something about the old woman's condescending attitude unnerved Hijikata. Still, he watched as she began setting aside handkerchiefs for him, each one frillier and pinker than the last. "How about these?"

"Do . . . do you have anything that's more simple?"

"Hmm, a more reserved type of girl eh?"

An image of Otae drop kicking Kondo popped up in Hijikata's mind. "Uhh you could say so,"

The old woman smiled knowingly and drew out a handful of white handkerchiefs from the pile. Hijikata analyzed the new choices but found himself still being indecisive and worrying over whether Otae would like the one he chose for her. Not that he really cared. Hijikata scratched the back of his neck. Okay, he really cared. So with Hijikata in such a worried and vulnerable state, who should come walking in to the same store?

"Oii old lady, where do you want these?"

Hijikata froze.

"Ahh Yorozuya! Come in, come in. Just put those boxes in the back," the old woman gestured to the three standing at the store front, each with a box in their arms.

"Mah, what's in these boxes old lady? They're so heavy," the tallest of the three with curly silver hair commented in a lazy voice.

"No they're not Gin-chan, you're just weak," said the smallest of the three, carrying her box in one hand while she picked her own nose with the other hand.

"Let's not complain Gin-san!" remarked the final of the three, distinguished from the other two only by the pair of glasses on his nose. That's right, it was Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi. The three moved further into the store. Hijikata was now completely rigid and trying to make himself as obsolete as possible. But luck was not on Hijikata's side today.

"Eh— ehhhh is that . . . ?" Gintoki was suddenly hovering over Hijikata's shoulder. Then all at once Gintoki's laugh was echoing in Hijikata's ears and Hijikata had to resist the sudden dying urge to unsheathe his sword. "You? What are you doing here?"

The old lady grinned and said, "Buying a gift for a special someone!" Gintoki laughed even louder.

"A gift? A handkerchief?" Gintoki looked at the line of simple handkerchiefs and continued his boisterous laughing. "Who are you buying the handkerchief for, a prisoner? Handkerchiefs have to have patterns! Patterns!"

Hijikata snapped, "What the hell are you talking about? What patterns?"

"Ahh no sense of fashion! Are all of the Shinsengumi like you? Mahh well it can't be helped, here see," and at this Gintoki pulled out his own handkerchief, a square piece of fabric imprinted with strawberries all over it. But Hijikata barely got a reaction out before Kagura was wiping her boogers on the strawberry patterned handkerchief. "AHhhh, Kagura-chan what are you doing?"

"Handkerchiefs are for wiping boogers on, so I wiped mine on it," Kagura said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Gahh!" Gintoki pulled Kagura into a head lock and began knuckling her head. While the two squabbled Shinpachi piped up and asked,

"Who are you buying a handkerchief for Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata blinked, suddenly realizing the delicate nature of his current situation. Shinpachi, being Otae's brother, might be useful to somehow extract information on Otae's preferences. But if he wasn't subtle enough, he might just be discovered and he was pretty sure Shinpachi wouldn't be pleased that the Shinsengumi's Vice Commander was buying a handkerchief for his beloved older sister. So he played it close to the chest.

"A-an acquaintance,"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Ah uhm which . . . which handkerchief would you suggest?" Hijikata asked, straining himself to not come right out and ask what Otae would like.

Shinpachi, after a moment of contemplation, replied, "Well if it's a gift from the heart than it doesn't matter what pattern it is, doesn't it?"

Hijikata blinked in surprise, "Eh?" Hijikata looked back at the selection of handkerchiefs. "Ahh . . . I guess you're right," Shinpachi smiled and turned his attention to trying to break up Gintoki and Kagura's bickering.

"So, have you made your decision yet?" the old woman gestured to the line of handkerchiefs. Hijikata paused and then tentatively lifted a simple white handkerchief, unremarkable but for the intricate yellow tulip embroidered in the corner.

—

"Have a nice day," with a knowing toothless grin, the old woman bowed as Hijikata's figure receded from the store front, his purchase gift wrapped and paid for. The old woman glanced back at the Yorozuya who were somehow still bickering over nonsense. "Yorozuya! Why are those boxes still here, do you want to be paid or not?" Immediately the three snapped into a single file line and carried the boxes to the back. The old woman turned back to look out at the street. She chuckled and said, to no one in particular, "Did you know the yellow tulip represents being 'hopelessly in love'?"

"I don't know what you're talking about old lady. Are you getting senile?" Gintoki called over his shoulder as he hauled another box to the back.

Again, the old woman laughed, "Maybe, maybe,"

—

Edo's red light district was lit up for the night. Streets were filled with the sounds of laughter and shot glasses clinking together. The stars could barely be seen, the sky was clouded with a haze of light pollution. And among the cheers and accommodating calls, a certain guest at a particular cabaret club was being greeted with especially loud squeals of affection.

"Kyahhh! Hijikata-han, it's Hijikata-han! It's not that gorilla today, but Hijikata-han that came! Come sit by us, Hijikata-han!" clamored the cabaret hostesses as they tugged on Hijikata's sleeves in all directions.

"Hijikata-san, your selection?" asked the server standing to the side. Hijikata grumbled in exasperation under his breath.

Ice settled in a glass and a sharp ring was muffled by the clamor of the club. Hijikata sat next to Otae, his arms crossed and a newly lit cigarette at the corner of his mouth. Neither said a thing to the other. Hijikata assumed Otae would start the conversation by commenting on something or another about drama schedules, but she was uncharacteristically quiet. Unbeknownst to Hijikata, Otae was unable to bring herself to say anything since she kept remembering their exchange the other day. Wiping Hijikata's collar, their eye contact, and the close proximity; it was enough to make Otae avert her eyes downward and blush in embarrassment. They continued in this manner until Hijikata summed up the courage and took the initiative.

"Here," Hijikata handed Otae a palm sized wrapped package. She accepted the small gift with both hands and blinked as she stared at the soft pastel paper wrapping.

"What is it?"

"The mayonnaise wouldn't wash off the other one, so I got you a new one." as Hijikata spoke, Otae peeled back the wrapping to reveal a neatly folded handkerchief. Her fingers smoothed over the embroidery detail. For a long time she didn't say anything. Hijikata glanced at her, afraid that the handkerchief wasn't to her liking. "You don't have to use it—,"

"No . . ." Otae interrupted, "I'll use it. Thank you very much Hijikata-san. I love it," she smiled at Hijikata. His cheeks reddened and he looked away.

"Well I figured you'd need it to wipe your tears on Monday nights," Hijikata said, off offhandedly.

Otae smiled lightly and replied, "Don't you mean Thursday nights Hijikata-san? Everyone knows 'Lie to Me' got moved from its Monday night time slot,"

"Ah, is that right?"

And they talked into the late hours of the night, about the Sunday prime time line up and whatever else came to mind.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait! I originally had this chapter ready to go but it would have led to the end of this fanfiction and I'm not ready to end it yet. So I rewrote it.

Oh and my favorite character is . . . Katsura! Favorite pairing is Okikagu :)


	14. Chapter 14

Based very loosely off episode 237 & 238 but with a little twist . . . a Hijitae twist.

* * *

Snowflakes drifted down and melted away on Hijikata's lips. He opened his eyes slowly. Static whiteness surrounded him. He sat up and brushed snow out of his hair. He looked around. "Where am I?" He squinted into the distance as the snow continued to float about him. "I remember . . . I came to the slopes as a bodyguard for the Shogun . . ." Hijikata's memory pieced itself together bit by bit. He scanned the area anxiously but in all directions he could only see snow. Then his eyes fell upon a figure lying on the ground in the distance. He got up quickly and let his feet carry him forward, he feared the worst. He feared that he would find the lifeless body of the Shogun and all that would be left to do was commit seppuku. And even if he did find the Shogun breathing, alive, and well; he feared they would never find their way back to civilization. Either way, the end result was seppuku. But who Hijikata found lying in the snow led to a whole other kind of seppuku.

"O—Otae-san?" Hijikata dropped to one knee and pulled Otae from under a build up of snow. He brushed off the frost on her shoulders. Her skin was ice cold to the touch. For a moment, something worse than never finding the Shogun occurred to Hijikata. His fingers pressed against Otae's neck. His own heart beat drowned out the howling of the wind. He shut his eyes and tried not to concentrate on the pounding in his own chest but rather if there was pounding in Otae's chest. After a nerve wrecking moment, although faint, there was a pulse. Otae was unconscious but alive. Hijikata withdrew his hand and sighed in relief. His eyes fell upon her slumbering face. There were snowflakes melting on her eyelashes and cheeks. Gently, Hijikata wiped away the snow on Otae's cheeks with his thumb. His fingers hesitated. They hovered over her slightly parted lips. A cutting gust of wind suddenly swept around the two. Hijikata's hand dropped and he snapped back to his senses.

_I need to find shelter._ Hijikata grabbed Otae by the arms and pulled her onto his back.

After some time spent trudging through the snow, carrying Otae in the piggyback fashion, Hijikata found an abandoned shed built up against the thick of the forest. Once inside, he set Otae down on the floor and went about starting a small fire. The inside of the shed was finally beginning to warm up when Hijikata settled in next to Otae, their backs against the wall. Otae was still unconscious. Hijikata glanced at Otae and then the fire, and then back at Otae. His hand wavered on her cheek. She was still cold. Hijikata began to worry that she would never warm up and for a moment was conflicted morally but in the end, wrapped his arms around her. He paused, usually that type of action would result in a fist to the face, but Otae was unconscious. So there was no fist flying.

_It's to conserve warmth._ Hijikata justified as he drew closer to Otae. Her head rested against his shoulder. He stared at the fire. His heart was surely trying to break free from his chest, the rhythmic beating was starting to make his head hurt. He looked down at Otae. The fire flickered and cracked as the wind whistled outside. Hijikata leaned forward and his nose brushed against Otae's. Their lips almost touched. And then Hijikata woke up.

—

The next morning during breakfast at the Shinsengumi canteen, it was hard not to notice that all the officers were avoiding the Vice Commander. Hijikata sat in the corner emitting a questionable dark, threatening, and killer aura. No one dared to look at him directly in the eye. No one even dared to say his name out loud. But of course, out of the whole Shinsengumi force, the only one who would knowingly bother Hijikata in such a state was the First Division Captain.

"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san, did you sleep well last night?" Sougo asked in his usual droning tone, knowing perfectly well that from Hijikata's drained face, he had not slept well at all. There was no response from Hijikata. From behind Sougo, Yamazaki stepped up and said,

"The Commander's been like that all morning,"

Sougo raised an eyebrow, "Ehh . . ."

The day continued with Hijikata in a whole other world, cutting everyone off with his unapproachable and unwelcoming atmosphere. Only Sougo took advantage of Hijikata's state by playing multiple life threatening pranks on him. But by mid-afternoon when none of Sougo's attempts on Hijikata's life warranted a reaction, he reported to Kondo that, "Hijikata-san's broken." So Kondo sat Hijikata down and asked him what was the matter.

"I couldn't sleep," Hijikata spoke for the first time that day.

"Hmm, I understand. Insomnia can be very bothersome." Kondo continued in a serious manner with his arms crossed, "Well usually I just think about Otae-chan and—,"

At the mention of Otae's name, Hijikata's eyes widened, his hands slammed down on the table, and he screamed "Nothing happened!" Kondo drew back in surprise and stared, completely bewildered. It took a moment of recovery before Kondo asked, "What?" Hijikata's mouth hung open and Kondo blinked. Hijikata turned, "Never mind," then ran out of the room, leaving Kondo utterly lost.

—

It was late afternoon when brute knocks suddenly shook the door to the Kakidōkan Dojo. Otae ran to the front door quickly. It struck her that the hurried knocks and late hour of the call could mean there was an emergency. Imagine her surprise when she opened the door and found Hijikata breathlessly before her.

"Hijikata-san?" she asked, her usual sweet disposition replaced with a genuinely surprised expression. Hijikata took a step forward. Otae stepped back, worried by Hijikata's disheveled appearance. "Hijikata-san, what's the matter?" Hijikata's vision blurred, he reached out, and then all together collapsed to the ground at Otae's feet.

The sound of trickling water woke Hijikata. He opened his eyes and looked up to a ceiling above him. He tried to lift his arms but found them under a warm layer of blankets. The sound of water sloshing met his ears once again. Hijikata blinked and turned his head to the side. What came into his vision was Otae on her knees, carefully straining a towel over a bowl of water. She stopped when she noticed Hijikata watching her.

"Oh, you're awake?"

"Otae . . ."

"Shh, don't strain yourself," Otae pushed Hijikata back into bed and placed the moist towel on his forehead. Hijikata blushed and dejectedly did as he was told. She smiled and began running her fingers through his hair. Hijikata felt his eyes grow heavy and would have drifted to sleep if he hadn't heard a door open and close from somewhere in the house. Hijikata went rigidly alert; Otae, on the other hand, blinked and calmly looked over her back, "Ah, he's back earlier than I thought,"

_This is bad_, Hijikata thought and began to panic. He looked up at Otae, who was comfortably stroking his head and looking as if she didn't have a care in the world. He both wanted and didn't want her to stop patting him on the head. He was completely confused. He had no idea how Otae could be so calm. They were about to be discovered by Shinpachi.

A muffled voice called out from a few rooms over, "I'm home!"

_Shit! _Hijikata looked around frantically for possible escape routes when the door to the room slid open. Hijikata's eyes widened.

Otae smiled and greeted the child with v-shaped bangs standing at the door, "Welcome home, Togoro."

—

Hijikata gave a jolt and sat up in bed, panting and glistening with sweat. He looked around the room. He was in his own bedroom at the Shinsengumi living quarters; the familiar snoring of fellow officers guaranteed that. Hijikata stared straight ahead and then clambered out of bed abruptly. The hallway echoed with his hurried and pounding footsteps on the wooden floor.

Hijikata threw aside a door and shouted into the room, "Sougo! Punch me,"

Sougo sat up slowly in bed and pushed his red sleeping mask up onto his forehead. "Hijikata-san, what are you talking about?"

"Your day has finally come. Kill me. Take the position of Vice Commander. I'll be out of your way!" Hijikata rambled, patting his chest and making large gestures with his arms. Sougo watched all this with a blank face. He waited for Hijikata to stop talking and then for Hijikata to catch his breath. Then Sougo responded, "Sadists do not inflict pain upon request. We do it for our own pleasure,"

Hijikata charged forward, grabbed Sougo's collar, and growled, "I'm COMMANDING you to kill me," Sougo returned Hijikata's intense, crazed glare with a nonchalant yawn. Hijikata gave a frustrated cry, released Sougo's collar, and rushed out of the room. Sougo replaced the mask over his eyes, pulled the covers over his head, and went back to sleep. Meanwhile, Hijikata proceeded to the Shinsengumi yard with his sword and began swinging his sword above his head and then down in front of him. It was the standard Shinsengumi sword sweep training. Hijikata had the mind set that if he concentrated on his training hard enough, he might just be able to forget the child with the v-shaped bangs.

* * *

Considering Hijikata's history with weird dreams, these dreams were nothing.


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry for the long wait! Insert disclaimers and spoilers HERE.

* * *

On the other side of Edo, far from the Shinsengumi Headquarters, there was a certain calmness about the Kakidōkan Dojo as afternoon settled into evening. The sun was setting slowly in the sky as Otae knelt before a small tub of water. In her hands the soft material of a handkerchief acted like a fish net being sifted through water. The water sloshed as she dipped its yellow trimmed corner into the tub. Otae smiled affectionately as she rubbed the soft fabric between her fingers. She began to hum— a little tunelessly but without a care— and her thoughts drifted to that fateful moment long ago.

—

It began with Otae's own growing self consciousness towards her 'lack of feminine habits'. Sure, she could toss a considerable group of men over a two storey house and instill fear with a single roar, but women are supposed to be delicate and kind. Women are supposed to be elegant and charming. Women are supposed to smile and answer in a sweet voice. Otae was all of these things . . . technically . . . to a certain degree. She had the smile and voice and some of the qualities . . . at times. But still there was no way to overlook Otae's sharp tongue.

"My, my, you want to sell me these bruised apples at such a high price? You must take me for an imbecile, am I right?"

The 40-something year old man stared wide eyed with his mouth slightly open at the peacefully smiling Otae before him. "M-miss I don't make the prices—,"

"Oh? As a store owner you can't even make your own prices? You should just commit seppuku then."

The poor store owner, visibly shaken at the casual use of 'seppuku' in everday conversation, tried to find his words but only came out stuttering. Other women looking on whispered (rather audibly), "Did she just say—?"

"I think so,"

"My, how rude! For a young woman like herself to be carelessly using such a word,"

"She may look gentle but anyone with such a tongue surely cannot be considered—,"

Otae stepped out of the store before the snippy woman could finish her sentence. She didn't need to hear the end of the sentence. Why should she have to listen to the chatter of gossiping hens? They didn't know what they were talking about anyways. She wasn't 'carelessly' throwing the word around. What did they know? _Seppuku is . . ._

"Haah?! You forgot to fill up the gas before patrol? You should just just commit seppuku then!"

Otae blinked and looked up. Not too far down the street the Demon Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi was telling off his subordinates in his signature gruff tone. A lit cigarette was hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Vice Commander," the Shinsengumi officers all bowed their heads or raised their eyebrows imploringly, "We said we're sorry already, there's no need to always threaten us with seppuku, is there?"

"'Always threaten with seppuku'?" Hijikata's voice came out in a low growl, "I'm not 'threatening' you, I'm telling you that if something is worth doing than you do it with your life on the line! If you're not going to do it properly then just go die!"

Otae stared in shock at the man before her. Her heart skipped a beat. She felt a twitch at the corner of her mouth. And then her hand raised to her mouth as she laughed out loud. Her chest swelled up and she looked up at the sky with a wide smile. _It's a matter of honor._

Then Otae thought back to that day everyone was staking out and waiting for the panties thief to appear. She wasn't the only one who's heart skipped a beat when they started in sync over killing methods. His gruff voice contrasted with her sweet voice. His killer intent and her smiling from blood lust.

—

Otae squeezed the handkerchief and let the water drip back down into the small tub. _Even at times when I was down . . ._

The ice had clinked in the glass before Hijikata and Otae. Hijikata, despite the bandages wrapped around his head, had a cigarette in his mouth as Otae spoke, "Even though I couldn't see it through to the end, I went and did it with a half-hearted conviction. What I did, in the end, wasn't for anyone's sake . . ."

Hijikata had let out a slow puff of smoke and then responded in his gruff tone, "You're not even close to being Buddha, so how did you think you could save everything in front of you?" Otae had looked over at him. "No matter how much you break your bones trying, there are things you can save and things you can't. So what? Is your way of life so fragile that it'd break with this?"

The handkerchief snapped in the wind as Otae flicked her wrists and shook the excess water off the edges of the fabric. And yet, with every word from Hijikata, Otae had always wondered, how much of it was actually on Kondo's behalf?

"At this very moment, if there was someone who could be saved by your so-called half-hearted kindness, what would you do?" Hijikata had glanced over at Otae. In that moment her heart had suddenly grew very heavy.

Otae stared at the handkerchief in her hands and thought of all those times Hijikata ran to Kondo's side, all those times Hijikata supported Kondo after she blew him half way to hell, all those times he wasn't at her side. She knew Hijikata would forever be loyal to Kondo. Maybe she even knew back then, when he said "Never mind,"

But even so . . .

Otae lifted the handkerchief and clipped it to the small dangling hanger. Her thumb smoothed over the tulip in the corner. Otae smiled and said to herself, "A girl can hope . . ."

* * *

Once again, sorry for the long wait! Also, does anyone have the translation of the third drama CD where there's this famous Hijitae moment? I've been searching for it ever since I started this fanfiction :/

And the chapters are getting longer! My attention span has increased over the years! Hurrah! Also I was rewatching episode 18 and at the part where everyone realizes that they forgot where they planted the land mines and Otae says "This'll be a problem. The newspaper delivery man will explode tomorrow.", am I the only one who thought her face and tone of voice was ridiculously cute? Anyways, onto the next chapter . . . or not? Hehehehehe. But really, thanks for all the reviews!


	16. Chapter 16

Shinpachi rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks. Otae was two halls down, running her hand over a small handkerchief tied up to hang dry. The setting sun shone down through the open doors and illuminated the scene. Shinpachi was frozen in surprise. Otae had a genuinely caring and affectionate look on her face. Shinpachi felt like he was seeing the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. An extreme rarity. Then Otae started to clear away the small tub at her feet and with one last smile at the handkerchief she disappeared into the house. Shinpachi stepped forward with caution. He leaned into the hall to make sure his older sister had gone about to managing other businesses. Then he walked over to the handkerchief and regarded it with a quizzical glare. Shinpachi squinted. An embroidered yellow tulip in one corner. The gears began to turn in his head. His hand reached out. _Isn't that . . .?_

"Shin-chan you're home early,"

"Sis!" Shinpachi jumped back in surprise as Otae stepped out from behind him.

"Why the surprise? Were you doing something suspicious?"

"N-n-no! No way!" Shinpachi waved his arms in animated protest.

Otae stayed smiling sharply at Shinpachi, ". . . Really?"

Shinpachi gulped and then bashfully admitted, "The truth is . . . that handkerchief, Sis, where did you get it?"

"That handkerchief?" and suddenly Otae was blushing and the one to bashfully respond, "It was a gift."

Shinpachi was staring wide eyed at Otae, not believing his eyes and ears, "F-from who?!"

"Huh?" Otae blinked and then turned away, "I-it's just a replacement since my old one was so stained and used already. Really Shin-chan, it's not polite to be so nosy."

Shinpachi stared, stumped at Otae shrugging him off, and then looked back at the hanging handkerchief. Shinpachi knew Otae wasn't the type to use her handkerchief so often that it would wear out and have to be replaced. His eyes narrowed behind the frames of his glasses. He thought back to that day at the old lady's shop. _Hijikata-san . . . Hijikata-san must have been told to buy this handkerchief by Kondo! And somehow Sis accepted it as a gift from Kondo!_

Now, Shinpachi can't be blamed for his misguided conclusion. He is either too convinced that Hijikata and Otae have not met up enough to form any kind of relationship, or is too shocked by the chance that Otae is showing even a speck of interest in Kondo because of his persistent courting. Either way, Shinpachi completely skipped Hijikata in his mind as a suspicious person and latched onto the strong belief that Kondo was the clear target that needed to be obliterated. There's good and bad to this.

—

In the morning the Shinsengumi members gathered around the yard, watching their Vice Commander swing repeatedly again and again. Worried murmurs ran through the crowd until their Commander stepped through the group.

"What's going on?"

The Shinsengumi stepped aside as Kondo came to front of the gathering. He blinked in surprise when he saw Hijikata, swinging as if striking a million imaginary wooden blocks.

"Toshi." Hijikata didn't respond. "Toshi, what are you doing?" Hijikata said nothing again, he was completely immersed in his training. Kondo stared in shock. "Toshi . . . could it be you— you . . . you're mad at me for using your towel without asking?!" Kondo broke into dramatic tears with his hands held shamefully up to his face. The other Shinsengumi members jumped in surprise at the sudden weeping of their Commander and tried to reassure the crying gorilla.

"He's not mad at you Commander!"

"Don't cry!"

"You can use my towel instead!"

Hijikata, oblivious to this all, continued to swing with all his might.

Over the next few days Hijikata stayed pretty much the same; training around the clock and when he wasn't, he was on patrol duty, eating mayonnaise topped meals, or finishing back logged paperwork. Sougo got bored of this new Hijikata very quickly and went off to bother other people, such as a particular red-haired 'China' girl and silver-haired 'Boss'. The other Shinsengumi members were first scared out of their wits at the new Hijikata but they started to warm up to it since he was yelling much less at them. Kondo . . . well Kondo cried while rocking back and forth in his office, still worried that Hijikata hated him for borrowing his towel without asking.

After a few more days, over one beef ramen bowl with 500mL of mayonnaise piled on top of it, Hijikata came to the conclusion that he must avoid Otae and his feelings towards her would stop developing. Yes, keep believing that Hijikata. So for awhile Hijikata functioned that way by training and pouring himself into his work. But soon Otae seemed to be popping up everywhere he went. During patrol duty she was walking by on the bridge with Kagura, at the convenience store she was buying more Bargain Dash, even randomly on the street Hijikata would turn, sure that he had just saw a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye. It soon got to the point where he simply couldn't avoid her and that he was being naturally drawn to her.

"Miss would you like to make some quick money? If you'll listen to this lonely old man's heart, he'll—," The 'lonely old man' was lifted into the air with one hand and a dark looking Otae asked,

"Would you like to have a quick death?"

"There will be no 'quick deaths' while I'm on duty," Hijikata interjected, his sheathed sword in between Otae's killer glare and the now cowering 'lonely old man'. "Put him back on the ground." Hijikata said firmly. Otae seemed to consider that thought for a bit but in the end she let go of the man's collar and he dropped pitifully to the ground. Quickly he scampered out of sight.

"Oh my, there goes a particularly large cockroach," Otae remarked calmly. She pointed in the direction and turned back to look wide eyed at Hijikata, "Why aren't you doing anything about this cockroach infestation?"

Hijikata drew out a sigh of smoke and lifted the cigarette from his mouth, all the while not making direct eye contact with Otae's doe eyed look, because then he would definitely have to do something about the 'cockroach infestation'. His willpower wouldn't be able to stand against her involuntary puppy dog eyes. "Don't hold it against him, his wife died recently." Hijikata inhaled softly, "He must be lonely."

Otae stared at Hijikata. "You say that with such empathy, how lonely you must be, Hijikata-san."

Hijikata couldn't help it this time. He looked right at Otae. _Damn it_, he thought. He actually missed this.

The next few weeks Hijikata tried to renew his 'Otae-free' lifestyle. He was stricter and more alert. And yet he still ended up seeing her everywhere and anywhere. He even got pulled into watching a movie with her on his day off. Otae insisted that Hijikata had cried but he profusely denied the claim (while sniffing and batting away some non-existent dust at the corner of his eye). The next time he saw her he got pulled into helping her buy a birthday present for a friend. He asked her if this friend was male or female. She said female. He felt relieved and then wanted to punch himself for feeling that way and for eventually spending the whole day shopping with Otae. Of course Hijikata's strange behavior didn't go unnoticed by Otae. She could count the times he averted his eyes when she looked straight at him. She had seen him frustratedly putting his head into his hands in defeat whenever he walked away from another day spent with her. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what.

—

One day, while driving on patrol, Kondo suddenly told Hijikata to pull over.

"What?"

"Stop, stop! Quickly! It's— OTAAAEEEE-CHAAAAAN!~" Kondo called while leaning out of the passenger seat window. Hijikata's heart sank as he hit the brakes. Otae stood on the street with a bag of groceries hanging on her wrist. "Otae-chan, heyyy! It's me—," Kondo continued to ramble happily. Hijikata watched her as she turned to face them. Her uninterested eyes passed Kondo and then fell on Hijikata. He looked away. Otae blinked and her eyes wavered. Kondo said something about Otae's friend's birthday. Both Otae and Hijikata flinched at Kondo's words. _How does he know . . . ?_

Otae stared now at the clueless yapping Kondo and then at Hijikata, who wasn't facing her, he had his face turned to the window. He couldn't face her. They both didn't know Kondo knew about Otae's friend's birthday because he is, after all, Otae's most dedicated stalker. Instead Otae, unfortunately, misjudged the situation. She took herself as a fool for ever thinking that Hijikata might have been interested in her. He had only gotten close to her to get information to Kondo. Otae turned and stormed away, despite Kondo's dismayed calls. Hijikata continued to concentrate very hard on that spot on the window. Otae felt her stomach twisting as she thought, _It was all for his loyalty to his Commander_.

—

Otae knelt on the floor in her room. Her thumbs worked into the folded handkerchief in her hands. She reached over to a small accessory cabinet and pulled open the top miniscule drawer. She reached in and then lifted a movie ticket out. She stared at the words 'Lie to Me' on the ticket and her eyebrows bunched together. She slammed the drawer shut. Then she looked down at the handkerchief. A yellow tulip in the corner.

—

A sliver of smoke ascended to the evening sky. Hijikata sat on the river bank with a cigarette between his fingers and a lost look in his eyes. Everything seemed so far away; the children playing, couples laughing, and the elderly taking walks as the sun set around them. Hijikata didn't notice them at all. There was only one thing Hijikata wouldn't— couldn't— help but notice.

"Otae," Hijikata looked up and was met with the ever smiling face of Otae. But this time the smile was different. It was constrained. When Hijikata looked closer, he realized that Otae's knuckles had gone white from clutching something tightly in her hand. The handkerchief wrapped up in the same stripped paper Hijikata gave it to her in. Hijikata stared in surprise and confusion.

Otae, still smiling— always smiling, "Have you no manners Hijikata-san? Has no one told you that it's rude to lead people on?"

She threw the small package at Hijikata. In a flash the smile disappeared and an expression of pure hurt spread over Otae. Hijikata's heart caught. She turned to leave but Hijikata grabbed her by the elbow.

"Wait—,"

"Let go."

"I can't." Otae turned back and her eyes met his. "I—,"

"Otaaaeee-chan~" Kondo called out suddenly, running happily at full speed towards Otae, only when he got closer did he notice Hijikata and asked, "Eh Toshi, what are you doing here?"

Hijikata quickly released his grip on Otae and looked over at his Commander. Otae looked down at where Hijikata's firm hold still lingered. She waited for Hijikata to say something, anything at all. But he remained silent. Otae closed her eyes, _That's right, there is nothing to say because there is nothing. There was never anything between us._

Otae opened her eyes and remarked, bitterly sweet, "The Shinsengumi have so much time on their hands. Here I was taking a stroll by the river side and then I stumbled upon the Vice Commander smoking and slacking off. Don't you have criminals to be chasing?" Hijikata watched Otae with his own pain and confusion spreading. Kondo, on the other hand, had not caught the tense drift of the conversation and immediately offered to escort Otae back home. In one motion Otae grabbed Kondo's face, raised him off the ground and muttered, through forming tears, "Escort yourself to the bottom of the river." Kondo flew threw the air as Otae turned away, not sparing a single glance at Hijikata.

This was the moment where Hijikata was supposed to go running to save the Commander. This was the moment where he was supposed to ignore the receding back of Otae, her ponytail swinging left to right. This wasn't the moment where he was supposed to stand, watching the girl he loves walk away. Hijikata's feet began to move— but to Kondo's side, or to pull Otae back?


End file.
